Do you want a laugh

Do you remember as a child when the summer holidays lasted for ever? It was never rainy and all you ate was ice-cream?

Well, apart from the fact that it has rained almost none stop, that's just about how my two dear little girls have felt.

They had a week with daddy at the sea side. Great fun....except he asked them if they thought he should return to the family home....not what you do to two little girls who are just about coming to terms with what has been happening.

Two upset little girls came home. Two little girls who needed lots of hugs and love....and mummy sent a letter to their daddy.

It went along these lines...if you ever ask them that question again it will be supervised visits. It also made me question quite what kind of relationship he has with the new girlfriend....my two are getting close to her and if he's messing about already, well, she's not going to stay around is she?

So he tells me he'll not ask such questions again...the girlfriend will be around for some time to come....oh and before they go back to school he needs to talk to me about his future plans.

Okey dockey. Off I head with my two little ones for a week in France. Not exactly a break but a change of four walls. We had fun....zoo....beach....food....ice-creams!!! And only one mention of daddy....on the beach my youngest asked me to draw a picture of him in the sand. 'Of course, darling' 'Oh and can you draw his girlfriend' 'of course, darling'..a long discussion over how tall she is...how long her hair is...does she wear dresses or jeans and bingo, my little one is very pleased with my handy work....'They're going to get married you know and I'm going to be a bridesmaid'..

Well I have no idea of the accuracy of this information...and honestly, it doesn't really matter to me. I hope to goodness he has finally met someone he wants to be with....someone who will make him happy in ways I obviously was unable to do so. You can't begrudge someone that can you?....and I guess that may be part of the plans that will be discussed with me over the next couple of weeks. Watch tis space.

So what of the Bank Holiday weekend....well the girls are with daddy, hopefully having a ball. This mummy was supposed to be going away, but a last minute change of plans has left me at home....still the garden looks better for having had some serious attention...even though I've blown up the lawn mower....any one out there know a good mower repair outfit in Berkshire?

The sun is shining and it is actually a really lovely day. You never know.....if I did believe in fairy tales, there might even be a knight on a white charger heading this way....now that would be nice. Or maybe I'm still thinking of those long summer holidays of childhood.....

Enjoy and have fun

xx

Yesterday I made the trip half way to pick up my girls after a night with daddy at his new house.

The girls were upset because 'daddy was very stressed' not too sure whether at 3 and 6 you can understand stress. But I guess there must have been some vibes.

Earlier in the day I'd sorted out yet another pile of paperwork and found the MOT certificate for his car. So I'd taken it along and reminded him that the car insurance was still in my name and he needed to sort it out....oh and by the way, had he added his girlfriend. No...so she's driving with no insurance...I guess so, was the answer.

Later as I was putting my eldest to bed she just hapened to mention that the girlfriend had taken them out for a drive as daddy was a bit grumpy.

Bearing in mind I am not exactly happy that a 19 yr old is driving my girls around in any case. A 19yr old driving them around witout insurance was just a little too much to bear.

So I get's to work this morning to find an email asking if the girls are OK ....... clearly the weekend had been a bit odd.

No I said, they were up most of the night....they tell me you were grumpy and stressed.....and Why was your girlfriend driving them anywhere? And tell me about the insurance.

Oh, says he. I'm finding it tough having them to stay. Maybe they should just come for the day.....here we go I think. As for driving the girls, it wasn't very far. Like tell that to PC Plod when he stops her.

Sort it out! And quick. And do not let her drive them around again. And if it is so difficult having your children for one night every two weeks, ask yourself why?

There are times when I wonder who is more grown up, the girls or their daddy.

Well as the weeks progress life, though lonely, is starting to have a pattern.

His nibs still bleats on via email. I did point out that admitting he was sacked from his old job on his email account on day one of his employment with his new company might be a bit silly. Let's face it in these Big Brother days, most organisations have some degree of email monitoring.

Still I guess he must know that. This weeks little gems have included the now regular Monday morning 'I want to come back' - dream on sunshine. This week however, a new twist. How would it be if he asked the children if he should come back? If they said yes he'd get some help for his behaviour.....No, No, No!!!!

How cruel to even think about asking two little things. They're just about coming to terms with what is going on and whilst there are still lots of questions (Did daddy know [new girlfriend's name] before he left us mummy?) they are doing ust about fine.

Night time visits are becoming less frequent and they continue to sleep better.....more than can be said for mum.

The buy out of the house has finally gone through. A great relief on one hand, and totally freaky on the other as I come to terms with quite how much debt I am taking on. Still as a very good friend on mine explained to me, being scared and optimistic is a sign of courage...well I'll hang on to that thought.

So his nibs now has enough cash, how did he put it? 'To go round the world for 10 yrs or so' Friends in Oz have already said they don't want him heading in their direction....who knows.

Before I sign off one other little gem. Tomorrow I drive halfway to his new place because it's too far for the poor dear to drive to pick up his kids.....would I mind getting him some ear drops because he's got ear ache!!! I jest not. I couldn't bring myself to respond...the firewall at my client's site would not have coped with the language!

Those of you who've been following the blog may indeed be feelign a little disappointed that there hasn't been more drama. Sorry.

As things calm down and life gets back to normal, there is little point in relaying what I've had for dinner. Or what's on tv.

Things are getting better....the girls are slowly starting to sleep through. And this mummy is beginning to feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

So what of the last few days?

His nibs did see the girls at the weekend. But not before he'd dropped off his older daughter - that's daughter not the girlfriend - to go along to a birthday party with my two. They were so excited to see her which was fantastic.....though their dad was a bit miffed. 'What about saying hi to me?' he asked. 'Oh, yeah. .... Hi dad' and then they dashed off to share news and new toys as three little girls would.

He's still after his money but the degree of urgency is a little less since he has got a job. Talking of which, the silly devil had the contract sent through to the email address he'd used when he was here. So yours truly has a soft copy tucked away. We'll see if the references they have asked for come through and if he can get through the 6 month probation period without casting an eye at some other young lady in the office.

I feel this story is not over yet. Though thankfully, the girls and I will simply be observers from now on.

Today was interesting. He called to say had his new credit card turned up. New credit card I asked. If you've ordered one why have you not had it sent to the address you live at? Quick chat with the solicitor helped me to understand. I had no idea you had to live somewhere for a number of months before you can get one.

When it arrives I'll pop it in the bin.

So, things are progressing this end.

His nibs finally secured a job last week....70 miles away so the love birds are busy finding a new nest.

But today's little gem is better than any soap. Honestly I do wonder if those who read this think I'm making it up. I'm not!!

Last week end the family should have gone to a not so close friend's wedding. His nibs decided with a week to go that he was going to use the event to introduce his new lady to a small circle of people. Feeling that might be a tad too much to bear I declined the invite and had a fab weekend with the girls.

Today I had lunch with one of the people who had been at the wedding. Inevitably after a while the discussion got round to his nibs....yes he got very drunk....yes she was there .... and 'how did I feel about the fact she's only 19!'

OK I very nearly fell off my chair. My response 'well I guess that's why the girls think she's such fun'....more of an older sister than dad's girlfriend.

Let's put this into perspective. He's 23 yrs older.....if she was much younger the local bill would be knocking on the door.

Still can't quite take it in....not because of any degree of jealousy...but what on earth (apart from the bleeding obvious)could two people with such a huge age gap have in common?

What a funny week this is turning into.

Monday saw a bizzare telephone conversation with his nibs. Tears and all that.....I've forced him to live with is new lady and he doesn't want to be there.

Please bear in mind this is the same lady he has just introduced to the children.....the same lady for whom he has, had, who knows, mountains of love for. I am really starting to feel sorry for her.

Tuesday saw a call wanting to know when he was going to get his money...

And today, I had confirmation from my solicitor that his legal team have been siting on the paperwork for over two weeks!!!! This means everythng goes back a bit. Never mind.

I got home this evening to hear that daddy had been on the phone and the girls had spoken to his new lady who told them she is really looking forward to seeing them soon. I'm beginning to loose the plot here. Does he want to be with her or not?

OK....up rocks his nibs this morning.....wearing the clothes he slept in last night...you know the kind of thing, red eyes from a 3 o'clock finish....and quite proud of it.

The girls who have been up and dressed since 6.30 are keen to give him the father's day cards they have made....

He asks them if they'd like to go and see his new house. Oh yes please daddy......he then says 'well why don't you stay the night'.

Complete surprise to me. I'm then in the position of potentially being the bad mummy if I say no.

Did they want to go? You bet! A sleep over sounds like fun doesn't it.

Then he says 'Oh and I have a friend I want you to meet' 'Is it a girl?' asks my eldest....'Is it your new girlfriend?'....

Now I am feeling sorry for the girlfriend who has no idea that very shortly her new man will be turning up with his two little girls, not just for the day, but for the weekend.

My phone will be on all day and the car full of fuel, just in case I need to do a late night dash to pick them up.

Right now I'm feeling a bit empty and this house has never felt so quiet.

A weekend when his nibs finally tells his children that he left to be with someone else.

How does this make me feel? Pretty worried. I have no idea how they will react or what they will say. The only good thing that will come out of it is that my eldest may stop asking if he left because of something she did.

To be honest, I've been fretting about it all day. What ifs and maybe ringing round my head. Having the conversations I am dreading having with the girls as I ploughed through another day of corporate life.

This week has not been easy....first we had the pitiful emails and text messages. Followed by the anger over not yet having his cash.....by the way my legal guys have still not received anything back. So we can only assume he's signed the stuff and sent it to the court.

And then, the funniest bit of the week. The silly man haas still been using my address for any job applications he has made, and could I check thepost to see if he's had a response from an interview last week. I politely pointed out that any post that does end up here is dutifully redirected. And could he please ensure any further correspondance is sent to his current address.

Honestly I am beginning to wonder what planet and all that.

I kno, one day this will all seem very funny and I'll look back and laugh. But right here, right now, it feels like I'm trapped inside a budget movie where the story just keeps going round.

Be sure to watch over the weekend. I feel this could be an eventful one.

I have to say I'm starting to feel like I'm stuck in groundhog day.

Another call this morning to tell me that it's not too late!!! He'll come back. I have pointed out in very simple words that 'his love for his new lady, far outweighed any guilt he was feeling'

That he needed to adore and be adored....and that he has had 17 wifelettes...so how on earth does he think I'd have him back?

The response, your going to love this......

It's not just about losing his wife, oh no, he's realised the lifestyle he's given up. That's right, he's going to have to get a job and pay his way. Big shock to the system.

Still the poor sole has no job and he was just wondering when his money might come through....Let me get this straight. You thought you wanted to come back but in a second breath it's all about having some cash to spend....either way sunshine you're just going to have to wait.

The paper work is all completed, the only thing that is holding things up is him signing the damn papers!!!!

I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for the girlfriend in all this. What sort of relationship can they be having....I know nothing to do with me. But ask yourself, would you put up with some bloke old enough to be your dad bleating on about his ex on a daily basis? Surely even if the sex is good you'd start to get a bit sick of it after a while. Maybe she's hanging out for the cash too....at this rate he really could be skint by Christmas.

It's been a busy week.

The petition dropped on the his nibs door mat mid week. Generating a call to tell me that it wssn't too late.....ne was still prepared to come back.

I resisted the urge to say something I'd later regret instead suggesting that he signed the paperwork so this whole sorry tale can come to an end.

So Friday arrived and a planned trip to my folks generated a pathetic call of woe. He was lonely...I am guessing the girlfriend had decided he was too old for the local night club...and wondering what I was doing. Driving up the M40 with two little ones asleep in the car.........

We had a great weekend and saw many old family friends who told me how great I was looking. This will seem quiet odd to some but I actually feel OK. Life is going to be tough. And no doubt there will be moments of saddness and tears. But right now as I type this I'm looking forward to a future of stability for my girls. They have been stars in all of this. They have been there for each other and look out for one another. They're sad. But they still see there daddy, on his terms, so I guess that means they'll see his better side every time they meet him. Much better than them seeing the grumpy stuff of the past.

Next week brings a few challenges, not least being he wants to tell them about his new girlfriend. It has to happen sometime and whilst it will be hard, let's hope they do plan to be together long enough for it to mean something.