Do you want a laugh

In response to:This just gets more bizzare

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 22:35:31 +0200

Come on!!! October 2005!!!

I know what I'm going through is madness but hey, you can move on.

There is much more to life than this.

My two will get through this as will I. Eventually we will laugh about it. Do you remember when......

In response to:This just gets more bizzare

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 21:31:04 +0200

I've been going through some of this too *hug* we split in Oct '05 xxx

In response to:This just gets more bizzare

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 12:02:27 +0200

You're handling things just right - don't come between the children and their dad - it will pay dividends in the long run :yes:

Use the time on your own for some pampering :yes: and play some favourite music to stop you feeling like you've suddenly gone deaf :))

In response to:Here's to a weekend of mixed emotions

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 22:35:27 +0200

Thinking of you - you'll be fine in the end :D

In response to:Goodness will he ever give up

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 22:06:30 +0200

I know and I feel a bit bad about that. She is so young and why should she have to go through all that shit?

So she targetted a married man.....that's not good. But I'm sure she never expected the otcome that she now has. You can probably hear her friends telling her to dump him...but she's stuck with him as he has nowhere to go to.

So yes I do feel for her. Though it is tempered with a knowing that what goes around comes around.

In response to:Goodness will he ever give up

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 20:20:24 +0200

His new girlfriend will learn the hard way. :yes:

In response to:Does life get better from now?

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 19:28:14 +0200

Good to hear from you again and that you feel so positive. Take care

In response to:Does life get better from now?

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 21:47:56 +0200

Stay strong :yes:

In response to:title-2327335

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 20:45:00 +0200

your ex is weak. I read an article in an american mag recently about couples splitting up and where one of the couple would try and poison the kids against the other. it was found that it was always the emotionally weak partner who did this, in order to try and justify himself and his actions. I am not suggesting that he will try and poison your kids minds against you, but I have seen this happen again and again, and it is hard for the kids. I guess when they are older, if he is still being weak, you can discuss it with the children, so they know that it is okay to be torn etc,

In response to:If I wasn't stronger I'd start thinking I was mad

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 18:37:01 +0200

Hello again,

poor you :(

Here's a link I found a while back when trying to cheer my teenage son up.

http://www.soyouvebeendumped.com/

The 'dump lines' are particularly amusing.

Not sure what to say except - take care of yourself and do something nice for yourself at least once a day - you need some pampering and (to paraphrase an advert I really really hate)you're worth it.

In response to:title-2327335

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 18:31:23 +0200

Gosh I totally agree with you.

Bitterness would eat anyone up and as for the kids, whatever he has done or does in the future it is really important to me that they still have a relationship with him. Regardless of how I feel he is and always will be their daddy.

I just pray that his current level of interest in them remains. I have an awful feeling that it will start to become less exciting for him in the future. Then they will be really upset.

As for what he's like as a person, that will be for them to decide when they are older, and certainly not for me to influence. I believe any discussions should be had out of their earshot....I just wish my ex respected that

In response to:If I wasn't stronger I'd start thinking I was mad

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 18:25:56 +0200

Hmmmm, seems this ex of yours doesn't know what he wants or why he wants it. Best shot methinks

In response to:title-2327335

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 18:11:23 +0200

17 wifelettes! well, I don't blame you for not wanting him back. It will be tough for the kids though. Good luck with it all. You seem very strong. I know it is none of my business, but remember that being bitter towards him harms you more than it hurts him, and the kids need to know that their dad ain't all bad.

In response to:It's not getting any easier to feel sorry for this guy

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 18:27:15 +0200

Hello,

I just started reading your blog. Oh goodness me. What to say?

You seem to be coping fantastically well under the circumstances.

Dare I say that it sounds like you might be better off without the stupid twit?

I was once in a relationship with someone I now refer to as 'the dollop'. He never got a job and just sponged off me for about 5 years until eventually I saw the light and kicked him out.

So I have a little idea of what its like living with that sort of responsibility. Keep up the sense of humour and guard against rebound stuff. But you seem very sensible and I don't think you need advice really.

You are keeping your dignity and that alone is throwing his hopeless messy existence into a real contrast.

I wish you and your daughters all the best for the future - I will pop in from time to time to see how you are doing.

You might like my blog - its funny poetry and I suspect you have a similar sense of humour to mine - it might give you a smile when you are in need of one.

Take care,

banana

In response to:It's not getting any easier to feel sorry for this guy

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 18:26:36 +0200

So I got that one right?

If it wasn't so bloody sad it really would be laughable. So tempted to send a draft script to Eastenders.....

Ian Beale?

In response to:It's not getting any easier to feel sorry for this guy

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 17:29:06 +0200

How about:

'SOD OFF YOU STUPID MAN! YOU'VE BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF. GET A JOB AND SORT YOURSELF OUT !

Seems fair to me

Wayne

In response to:title-2356274

Tue, 29 May 2007 22:33:07 +0200

Wow am I psychic or what. Must be my male mentality. You need any more answers just ask LOL :)

In response to:title-2356274

Tue, 29 May 2007 20:56:57 +0200

Actually yes he did....some time ago....

The answer was no way....but I guess he was getting his kicks anyway without my help.

Chances are he is living on another planet and wants to play happy families when it suits and forget all about them when he has his 'needs'......on the faith front, he is currently considering becoming a muslim as it would mean he could have up to 4 women and no-one would bat an eyelid.

In response to:title-2356274

Tue, 29 May 2007 19:29:57 +0200

erm....just out of curiousity, and please tell me if I am completely out of order here, has hubby ever mentioned swinging as a hobby ?

I know it may appear a bolt from the blue, but I think you would find it amazing the number of men who it appeals to, especially those who are beginning to find themselves in a mid life crisis.

People of the church going persuasion would probably be the ones you never thought it of, but hey you never know.

Just a thought anyway !

Chances are he wants to go to church :)

In response to:title-2339596

Sun, 27 May 2007 07:46:40 +0200

I don't as I said not all men are bastards....

And frankly the victim mentality comes from knowing that they did wrong and not taking responsibility for their actions. Something he has very rarely done....it is always someone else's fault. The joke this time being that it is my fault he strayed....had it been just the once then maybe...but 17 times in 7 years? Come on.

He's just been very good at hiding it and I was too busy bringing up a young family and running a business.

It will come to haunt him....I'm not looking forward to that stage either.

In response to:title-2339596

Sat, 26 May 2007 22:56:46 +0200

I have to say please dont tar us all with the same brush.

I think if a man treats a woman that way or a woman treats a man for that matter, then they are the scum of the earth. They deserve to be be treated with disdain and dont deserve to be given the time of day. As you can see I have been there done that, but obviously I'm not bitter.

Unfortunately your fella sees himself as the victim and not you and especially not your children. Still, as they say, what goes around, comes around

In response to:title-2339596

Sat, 26 May 2007 22:44:40 +0200

You know what.....I'm beginning to feel that there are much more of these guys around than I had realised.

Now I'm not an 'all men are bastards' kind of girl. Really. But some do seem to have tendancies in that direction.

You note made me laugh. Yes its is apparently all my fault. He wasn't getting the attention he needed. Poor love.

I am strong, and in a funny way getting stronger by the day. I think that is adding to his irritation. Hence he has taken recently to mailing my friends and relations telling them that I need help and that he thinks I'm mad as a hatter. They of course think I've finally come to my senses and have never been more sane!

Funny world.

I think the conversation I had with my business coach kind of sums it up. It went a bit like this:

Coach: OK, why haven't I heard from you for weeks

Me: Well things are a bit tricky at home

Coach: What's he done this time?

Me: Left

Coach: Oh....I am really sorry......actually I'm going to tell you the truth....I'm not sorry at all. He's been bleeding you dry emotionally and financially for years.

You see, I know I'm not mad.

In response to:title-2339596

Sat, 26 May 2007 21:46:00 +0200

My ex and your's...are they related?????

After too many years of putting up with his coming and going and finally refusing to let him back...I now get 'well there was obviously something wrong with us to have made me shag someone else!'

And like you say, when the total attention shifts from them to children they can't handle it.

Stay strong!

In response to:title-2327335

Thu, 24 May 2007 20:08:09 +0200

Why bother.

Strikes me she's bitten of a bit more than she realised.

Let them stew.

The lack of reaction appears to be causing enough of a stir right now.

Love the thought though.

In response to:title-2327335

Thu, 24 May 2007 19:13:11 +0200

Why not rub salt in the wounds. Cut up any remaining clothes, parcel them nicely in brown paper and send them through the post.

Then send a needle and thread in a seperate parcel with sewing instructions for his little wifelette, just in case she hasn't done this weeks homework and there isnt a teacher to help her, and then get yourself all dolled up, get yourself a fantastic set of sexy photographs done and post them to him too (Not plugging myself btw, though always open to work LOL)

If that doesn't really piss him off nothing will.

In response to:title-2304340

Sun, 20 May 2007 21:27:57 +0200

I've just read your blog and it's history repeating itself. Keep strong - you'll be fine.

Marian

In response to:title-2304340

Sun, 20 May 2007 21:15:21 +0200

She who laughs last, laughs longest and loudest.

In response to:title-2294615

Sat, 19 May 2007 00:00:04 +0200

This isn't about pouring it out....the story has been told many times...and sadly will be in the future... it is quite funny once I can get it together to write it down.
Call it mid life crisis call it sad but true, some guys can't deal with havin kids.

And us girls get to pick up the pieces...as my 3 yr old tells me " boys are plastic and girls are fantasic"

In response to:title-2294615

Fri, 18 May 2007 23:59:59 +0200

In response to:title-2294615

Fri, 18 May 2007 22:10:17 +0200

I'd say sorry, but sorry probably isn't the word you actually want to hear right now. I've went through something similar in the past and it is devastating, but tough as it is to say, eventually you DO bounce back.

Having somewhere to pour out your feelings is good, so a blog is ideal, especially the anonymity, I'm sure things will turn round for you.

and hey, if all else fails you can have a few new friends on here, who don't mind listening :)